


I'm Not Gay.

by ScarletPhoenix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletPhoenix/pseuds/ScarletPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> “Listen, Cas, I’m still confused about this. I’m not gay.”</i><br/>“Neither am I.” Dean stared at Cas for a moment, before smiling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Gay.

In hindsight, Cas should have known better than to take advice from Jo. While, yes she was a pretty girl and by no stretch of the imagination was she unintelligent, she was much more concerned with being one of the guys than dating them, making her one of the worse people to go to for romantic advice. Unfortunately, she was also the only of his friends with any expiernce when it came to pursuing relationship with men (besides Meg, but she would just suggest that they all have a threesome, and Cas was pretty sure Dean would be opposed to that idea). And that's how he ended up in his current situation.

Dean wasn't talking to him, wouldn't even meet his eyes. The air around their table was abuzz with the pure awkward energy the two of them were radiating, and no one at the table seemed to know what to do. Jo was silently pushing her peas around her lunch tray, occasionally kicking Balthazar under the table when he opened his mouth. Benny, the poor soul, was stuck between Cas and Dean. He'd attempted to draw them both into conversation, with little success. Gabriel had given up on them about five minutes into the lunch and wandered off to find his friends. It was almost a godsend when the bell rung and everyone quickly dispersed.

"What happened with Dean, brother?" asked Benny, choosing to walk with Cas to class instead of whatever excessively long way Dean had devised. 

"I'm sure Dean has already told you, Benny," Cas sighed.

"Of course he has, but I want your side of it too," Benny shrugged. 

"I kissed him, Benny, it’s not all the complicated."

"The hell possessed you to do that? Did that unresolved sexual tension finally get to you, brother?" 

"Joanna." 

"You took romantic advice from Jo?" Cas nodded. "You are aware that she's dating Balthazar, right? No one should take dating advice from someone who thinks Balthazar is a good boyfriend, brother." Cas wonders if sometimes everyone forgets that Balthazar is his cousin. 

“I am aware of that now,” Cas pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out an exasperated breath. 

Benny clapped him between the shoulders. “Well, who knows? Maybe getting this all out will end well. You and Dean were already like an old married couple anyways.”

“We do not.”

“Brother, don’t even try to deny it.”

***

It’s odd to think about how ingrain in your life someone is until they’re not there. Looking back on it, Dean isn’t sure how he’d managed to make it through the day before he’d met Cas. It wasn’t like he was incapable of getting though the day without him – hell, he’d made it through a week - but he sure made everything more enjoyable, with his stupid deadpan humor that no one else seemed to get, and laughing at Dean’s stupid references. They had one of those weird, codependent friendships that you only see on TV, where you know more about the other person than they know about themselves. Yet, Dean hadn’t seen this coming. He hadn’t ever imagined that one day, Cas would plop himself down in Dean’s lap and give him what was honestly one of the best kisses he’d ever had. Cas was straight. Cas was probably one of the straightest people he knew. Sure, he was a nerdy guy, but apparently the girls ate that up. Dean just couldn’t understand why Cas had kissed him. It was so out of character for him. Cas was straight. Cas didn’t do things spontaneously. 

But he had. He’d kissed Dean like he’d never been kissed before, and damnit, Dean liked it.

“Gay crisis?” The couch dipped as Sam, awkwardly gangly from his recent growth spur, sat beside him. Dean looked at his brother, eyes quickly scanning the room for their family.

“How the hell-“

“Gabriel told me,” Sam shrugged, not looking up from the textbook balanced on his lap. “He told me what happened with Cas.” Sam was smirking. “So, you having a crisis over your best friend laying a big one on you?”

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean palmed his face. 

“Gabriel says you’ve been ignoring Cas,” Sam continued. “I don’t understand why this seems to be causing you such issues. I mean, this is Cas we’re talking about. You two have been like a married couple since middle school.”

“No we haven’t.”

“Yes, you have.” Sam declared. “I’ve seen Cas order meals for you on a regular basis. He knows how you like your eggs. I don’t even know that, Dean. And you know his favorite type of dessert and exactly what he likes on his burgers. You’ve got not only his school schedule, but his daily routine memorized. And thanks to you insisting on switching me rooms a few years back, he’s the first person you see in the morning and the last person you see before you go to sleep. To be honest, I thought you two were already fucking, because, Dean, that’s not a normal friendship. Hell, that’s almost creepy for a romantic relationship.”

“It isn’t!”

“Do you treat Benny the same as Cas? He’s been your friend since first grade. Next to Cas, he’s your best friend.”

“Benny’s different.”

“Yeah, you’re not in love with Benny,” Sam shut his textbook, using his notebook to mark his place. “What about Lisa? You said went on and on about how she was the girl you’d marry, but why did she break up with you?”

“Because I spent too much time with Cas…”

“Yeah,” Sam set the textbook aside. “He’s more than a friend, Dean. I know it, Gabriel knows it, Jimmy knows it, Benny knows it. Hell, I’m sure mom and dad already know it too. The only one out of the loop seems to be you.” 

“Sam, I’m not-“

“Gay? Yeah, I know,” Sam said. “But does that really matter? Would you really miss out on being with someone you love, all because you don’t like their genitals?” Dean stared at his brother for a long moment.

“When the hell did you stop being a stupid kid?”

“About the same time I got the legs of a giraffe.” 

***

That night, Dean pulled open the drapes he’d shut a week ago to avoid seeing Cas in his room across the little strip of grass that separated their houses. Cas wasn’t in his room, like he always was. Jimmy was, but the younger of the twins just shot him a half-hearted glared, and pulled the blinds on their window shut. Dean knew right then that he’d fucked up.

***

“So, he still hasn’t talked to you?” Jo asked as she polished silverware behind the counters as Cas cleaned off the tables. It was the slow time between breakfast and lunch at the Roadhouse Diner. There was only Ash, sprawled out on the bench of a booth, a long cooled cup of coffee on the table. Ellen had told him if he was going to hang around, he’d need to start ordering something.

“No,” Cas sighed, dropping down into one of the bar stools. “Remind me never to take advice from you.”

“It was solid advice,” declared Jo. “I said make your feelings known. You’re the one who decided to kiss him.”

“Dean doesn’t like talking about feelings,” Cas pointed out, groaning in frustration. “He’s more troublesome than any girl I’ve ever had to deal with.”

“And you get to sleep with them,” Ash called from his bench. 

“Ash, shut up,” ordered Jo. “Dean’s gonna come around, I know it. You just shocked him is all. He’s gonna realize you two are meant for each other and come running for you.”

“All I want at this point is for him to start talking to me again.”

“Well, he’s gonna have to. It’s that time of day,” Jo declared, holding out three wraps of silverware to Cas as the door above the door jingled. Cas glared as Jo escaped into the kitchen, before slipping out of the chair. John clapped his back as he walked by, sitting at their normal booth.

“Been a few days since I’ve seen you, Cas.”

“I’ve been busy, Mr. Winchester,” Cas mumbled, setting their silverware down, not looking at Dean. Cas could feel his eyes burrowing into the side of Cas’ head. It made Cas’ heart pound in his throat, and feel faint and nauseous. He took a deep breath, reaching into the pocket of his apron to pull out the order pad. “The regulars for all of you, I assume?”

“I’m too old to start eating something different for lunch,” declared Bobby. 

“What’re today’s pies?” Dean asked. Cas took a deep breath, and looked at him. He was smiling at him, and for a moment, Cas was sure that it had all been a stupid dream.

“Pumpkin, apple and pecan,” Cas answered. “I’ll bring you a piece of pecan after you eat some real food.”

“Pie is real food!” exclaimed Dean as Cas walked away to put in their order.

“See, he seems fine now,” Jo was beaming. Cas hesitated, before smiling.

“I’d be happy if he was just willing to put all this behind us and let us get back to normal,” murmured Cas.

***

Dean wished his dad and Bobby weren’t there. He couldn’t talk to Cas about what happened in front of them. He’d like to get himself sorted out before having to come out to his dad as maybe gay. John tried to hide it, but he was an old man, raised with old views, and that included a less than tolerable stance on gays. Dean would handle that later. Right now, patching things up with Cas was what was more important.

“Hey, dad, do you need me at the shop after this?” he asked, pushing his empty plate away from himself.

“Not really, not. The only thing we’ve got left to do today is fix the window on that Nissan, but Bobby and I can handle that.”

“Cool, could I maybe get the rest of the afternoon off?”

“Are you going to study for that Spanish test you’ve got on Monday?” 

“Sure thing, dad.”

“Then you’re free for the rest of the day.” Dean smiled, getting up. “I’ll pay today, so you two can head on back if you want.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get rid of us,” Bobby said, slipping out of the booth. “You better get Jo to study with you, her Spanish grade is worse than yours.”

“Maybe Cas can help you two,” John declared, getting up. Dean shrugged, and watched them go as Cas walked over to start clearing their dishes.

“Cas, man, can we talk?” Cas took a deep breath, a looked at him. 

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Cas sighed, those ridiculous baby blues looking every bit like a puppy that had been kicked over and over again. Dean felt his heart clench. He’d known he’d hurt Cas by ignoring him, but fuck it was different knowing it, and seeing the pain in his best friend’s eyes. 

“Don’t be,” Dean said quickly. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” Cas furrowed his brow, tilting his head to the side a bit. Dean sighed. “Listen, Cas, I’m still confused about this. I’m not gay.”

“Neither am I.” Dean stared at Cas for a moment, before smiling.

“That’s gonna make this difficult.”

“Make what difficult?”

“Us,” Dean said with a shrug. Cas looked shocked. “Like I said, I’m not gay. But, well...why miss out on being with someone you care because you’ve got an issue with their genitals?”

“That’s shockingly wise for you, Dean.”

“Sam said it.”

“That makes more sense,” Cas smiled, turning around to finish clearing their table. “I get off at two today. We should get ice cream and watch Dr. Sexy.”

“That’s you’re idea of a first date?”

“Do you have any other ideas?”

“I’ll get the ice cream if you bring pie.”


End file.
